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Archive for the ‘child discipline’ Category

Toughing Up

I’ve come to the conclusion that hubby and I are softies. As much as I like to think I am a mean mom, meaning standing firm and consistent in what I say, I am not. We are too negotiable. Too fair.  Too soft.  The penny in the jar is going well. The girls were kind of excited about it at first. They thought it was fun to scrub the floors. Hey, when you’ve never done such a thing before, it is exciting.  (maybe for a kid)  Today we were at Costco and two of my girls proceeded to argue and be unkind.  They each got a penny.  Arguing continued, penny given, again and again. By the time we got home they both had 5 pennies.  The rule is that the pennies need to be worked off (15 minutes of scrubbing kitchen floor) before the next meal, and especially before they go to bed at night.  Dinner was almost finished and the girls were hungry, but those pennies remained in the jar.  I gave them directions to get started and one child decided she’d rather be difficult and her mouth decided to keep getting her in trouble. Before all was said and done, 8 pennies ended up in the jar. It took her 2 hours to work it off, and dinner finally arrived at 8:30 pm.  They tried to negotiate, and we almost gave in.  I think that maybe this experience was a good lesson. There might be more thinking before speaking next time.  And boy is my floor clean!

Susan

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Creative Discipline

It’s much easier to preach consistency than it is to be consistent in disciplining the kids.  I’d say this is the one thing that I have failed to do.  I let so much slip by and then the straw that breaks my back causes me to yell and fuss and stomp my feet and act like a two year old.  My child then looks at me with a look on her face that says “what has gotten into you? I’ve done this a thousand times before and you never acted this way”.

I don’t know about you but in our house we have way too much tattling going on, way too many unkind words thrown around, and far too much disrespect for all members of the family.  It is a sad day when my friend tells me her children notice how unkind my kids are to each other.  This is NOT what I want for my kids.  Something needs to be done.  I have such a hard time coming up with consequences, so much so that I will tend to ignore unwanted behavior because I just don’t know what to do about it.  Well, thankfully a counselor helped us with an idea that I think is just about perfect. It is easy to implement and in the long run I think it will be effective.  I don’t have to think of something new. In fact the beauty of it is that it is the same thing each and every time someone does something undesirable.

Here is what we do.  Each kid has a jar.  Next to the jar is a little plate of pennies. Whenever I hear or see something that warrants a discipline, a penny goes clink into the jar.  Each penny is worth 15 minutes of scrubbing the kitchen floor with a scrub brush.  Each penny needs to be worked off before the next meal.  So if a child backtalks, a penny in the jar. If a child says something unkind, a penny in the jar. If a child tattles, a penny in the jar for both kids.  I don’t have to think of what the consequence will be because it is the same each time. The kids know what to expect.  My floor gets clean.  Amen!

Susan

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