Last year started out so smoothly. We were all excited for school. The kids participated, for the most part attitudes were good. This year is entirely different. My plan is to start out our morning (after morning chores) with our devotions, then on to history, which I do at the table with all the girls. Usually that involves me reading to them and they are doing an activity sheet while I read. They usually love this. After we are finished they move on to their independent work. I have a K-1st grader who needs a lot of my attention, but the other two girls seem to not be able to do anything this year without me working with them. I am finding this very difficult. I feel pulled in a million directions and I am getting frustrated. On top of that, when we start our devotions I feel like the enemy descends upon my house and turns my kids into monsters. There are interruptions, (can I have a drink of water, fake snoring etc), and I can barely get our scripture read or them to repeat our memory verse. By the time we muddle through it I am frustrated and ready to quit. While we have been doing school for a few weeks now I don’t feel like we have had one good day where everyone completes their assignments. By the time two o’clock rolls around I am done and I do not want to help another child with something. So whatever they didn’t finish doesn’t get finished. What am I doing wrong? Why is juggling this year so much more difficult than last year? Any fresh ideas out there? Help!
Susan
Do they have anything that they can look forward to each day- like a reward or some type of fun activity when they’re done? Or maybe alternate something fun in between each subject- maybe that might motivate them.
Perhaps you can have a behavior chart & after you’re done with devotions or even school, maybe give the most behaved child a sticker- when they get however many stickers, that child gets a special reward.
Or even set a time? I have been struggling with getting my son to move faster with his morning routine so we can begin school. I am finding the timer thing has worked pretty well for that. Hope you figure something out.
Is there a time of day where they are more attentive? Maybe you can just start the school time with prayer.
After the routine of lessons, then maybe you can do devotionals. Or maybe right after or during lunch? Make sure the rules are set beforehand– as in zero tolerance for water requests or interrupting.
Just a thought.
I’m only dealing with two so I can’t say that I have very good advice to offer.
In our house, we start the lessons with independent work at the kitchen table. Math, handwriting, language arts. I try to get one child started on something that they can do alone (like handwriting) while I work with the other one. Going back and forth between the two– listening to them read, helping with math, etc.
I also dole out many 5 minute breaks. This helps to keep them on task and if one child finished an assignment early (while I’m still working with the other one), then can take their 5 minute break right then. The rule is you MUST come when I call you and you cannot be a distraction to others.
After all of that, then we do our group work– like history and our read-aloud and some hands-on activities.
Also, if they don’t finish their work, they must complete it before bed. Usually during the POST-supper but pre-bedtime hours when they would normally be allowed to play or watch a video.
Sorry that you’re having a hard time- I’ll pray for you!
Rebeca
Well, it’s funny that you mentioned how well last year went. Last year I had a harder time…this year, so far, so good.
But, usually when I’m feeling like crap and I’m frustrated and wanting to throw in the towel? I’m A)premenstrual. (I don’t make light of this at all, I’m being serious)
or B) I’m asking to much.
I tend to have these brilliant ideas and the next day I try and implement them and the kids don’t….how shall we say it….act like my robots. haha.
I have really high standards with certain things and I get frustrated with attitudes. BUT, for some reason I’m having an easier time this year. What’s worked for me is starting with the Bible time first. And yes, distractions come up every time (like the phone ringing) But, starting with Gods Word helps the major player in this thing…..ME.
So, not sure that helps, but at least you know that it happens to everyone, and there are really good times ahead!
Emily
I offer you no suggestions, no advice, no voice of experience. Just a big ole’ cyber hug (((((Susan))))) and lots of prayers sent up on your behalf! Having one of those years here, too, so far…
In Christ alone, Kari
one dad’s perspective…and it is only perspective…since i don’t know you or your family, this is not advice for you guys…just perspective:
when i’ve heard this despair/frustration from my wife, it is typically at a point where i have been disengaged as a dad/husband. it creates two things: first- a wife that feels she is “doing this all alone,” so even the little things become frustrating. second – it creates children and a wife that have lost their “vision” for why they are doing school at home.
as the head of my home, it requires me to recast the vision with the big picture for my wife and a firmer hand of expectations with my children. for some reason, when the kids have to answer to me with their school/home performance things tend to improve.
please don’t read that i’m communicating that my wife is this helpless cog in the wheel or that i am a domineering dad/husband that rules his home/school with an iron fist. it is not that at all…for my wife, it’s a hand to hold as she walks through the day-to-day grind of schooling the kids and for my kids it’s recommunicating expectations that dad/mom have together (aka “it’s not just mom’s gig…”).
again, just my perspective – fletch
Hi Susan,
Oh, I can COMPLETELY relate to what you are going through. Those are the days I have to leave and go cry and pray in my room, otherwise I would explode. My husband said, “Remember Honey, we need to walk in victory, ” to which I replied, “You know, it’s really hard to walk in victory when you’re being attacked from every side!” Jesus reminded me that He too knows how it feels to being pulled in a million directions and having everyone want your attention. And though Jesus didn’t have biological children, He can relate to people looking down on him with indignancy (our oldest child with me) and others just wanting to be with Him (our preschooler and baby wanting my attention).
I find that my attitude is a big contributing factor. I try to smile and be joyful, but sometimes it’s fake and they know it. The days I begin in prayer make a huge difference. Sometimes they are my worst days — because the devil knows there’s spiritual warfare going on and he does everything he can to tempt the weak (our children especially). When the devil comes on strong, rejoice in the fact that God must have something really great planned for your family. Then rebuke satan outloud. I know it sounds crazy, but it works (and not always immediately). I know that only God can read our minds, so if we rebuke the devil in our minds, he doesn’t hear it. He can only view our areas of weakness and play upon those. There are days when I quietly rebuke him, so I’m heard, but not shouting through the house. Then there are times when I just shout, ” I rebuke you devil in the name of Jesus Christ! You cannot touch my children, my husband, me or any part of our household.” Remember that the battle is between God and satan and we need to make our requests known to God and stand firm with the power we have in the Holy Spirit. (At first my children just stared at me and said, “Mama, what are you doing?” I said, “Hey, somebody needs to stand firm against the devil. You’ll thank me for this one day!” They don’t even question it now.)
As far as fresh ideas for school, some days you just can’t make school fun and they need to just hunker down and do what they need to do. Other days you can try having them act something out or work on an art project, just to break up the monotony. We have a white board in our kitchen and they love to write on it. Sometimes I let them work out a few math problems on the board themselves and they don’t mind doing it then. Surprise them with “candy questions”. Ask a question and if they answer it correctly, toss them a piece of candy — it’s especially fun when they have no idea you have it! Our children’s choir teacher does this (she teaches a bible lesson before they begin singing) and the children love it! She also keeps little trinkets on hand for the children who are diabetic or have braces. Some days I have my children go and ride their bikes around the house two or three times. They love it and it helps them wake up. It also helps them want to get done so they can go play.
Remember this…as I too have been reminded lately. This is the time to do the “fun stuff”. Like I said, it simply cannot be fun all the time or even most of the time. However, the workload for the children is going to become that of much more writing and more difficult work. Gone will be the days of checking the weather together and putting little felt pieces on the wall and dressing up as Pilgrims, etc. I’m finding the more love and patience I exhibit, the more respect I gain and the more smoothly things flow. When they are taking forever to get through school, their minds simply cannot process how it’s holding you up and they don’t know that your mind is thinking “Ugh, I just want to get this done. I have bills to work on and a cake to make for such and such.” Their world is about them…and how *awful* it is to have to do what they have to do. (I know because dd pouted for 20 min. this morning about simple addition — even though she’s currently working on cross multiplication. I let her figure it out on the white board and she was happy after that).
Okay, I’ve gone on to write a novel here. So sorry! I hope I’ve possibly helped in some small way. Oh, and I’ll be praying for you.
Jennifer
Emily’s idea about starting with God’s word first is great. Also, I don’t make them all sit still and listen, I allow them to play with a quiet toy or color while I’m reading the bible to them and asking them questions.
Another thought….too much bookwork maybe?
Throw something fun in there that they can look forward to. I try and limit their bookwork to just math and language arts (no more than 30 minutes at a time) and everything else is cleverly disquised as school. The big hit this year (and we don’t get to work on it until bookwork is done) is beautiful feet geography. We read a book about the US and then fill in the map as we follow along with the character. They absolutely love this!
Just some thoughts. I hope it gets better for you. And know that EVERY homeschool mom and I mean EVERY, has days like this…sometimes months or years. It just means it’s time to make some changes.
wow, nice comments! I learned a lot tonight. We’re having a bumpy beginning too, but it’s getting better. I think there is a six week back to school hump to get over. I admit it is hard with four children to homeschool + a very active 2yo boy!
Hope the house thing is going well,
jen
Hi, I just came across this and hope I can offer something of encouragement. I agree with Fletch in that Dad’s involvement is so important. Our kids are constantly testing to make sure we’re sold out on our calling to homeschool.
After praying with your husband about this and getting his input, I’ll share some things which have worked for me in my 13 years of homeschooling.
After breakfast I would make time to go outside and get some fresh air. After coming back inside, I’d make a snack right away, and placed it in a bowl and put it in the middle of the table so it’s available. This can be something like pretzels, almonds, grapes, etc. Also on the table I’d provide water bottles with the sport lids which dont’ spill. This way drink/snack doesn’t become an interruption.
Before seatwork, ask your kids to please go to the bathroom and take care of all bodily functions, potty, blow nose, wash hands, etc. Then let the kids know what you expect as far as their behavior, attitude, etc. I’d start with a short scripture read by one of the kids, then some application discussion, and prayer. Make this time 5-10 minutes, no more. Then move onto whatever seatwork needs to be done, but plan a 10 minute break in say 30-45 minutes. If the kids are extra wiggly this break needs to be taken outside AGAIN, by running around the house, jumping rope, etc. You plan what happens on the breaks. Then back to more seatwork.
During this time I’d work with the youngest to the oldest in that order. The youngest has the shortest attention span and needs more instruction. Then after two or three sessions of seatwork, I’d release the youngest to go fold laundry, or help in other chore areas. Move onto the next oldest, then the oldest.
Plan a quiet in your room time after lunch, if napping is no longer an issue. After nap time, have an afternoon snack, then go back outside to work in the garden, rake leaves, go for a walk, etc. Do a chore all together to build teamwork.
Whatever is not completed by this time (probably around 2:00pm) needs to be worked on independently and all books cleared off the table by 3:00pm. This way you’re not still getting work done when hubby comes home and it’s time to prepare dinner.
This might seem terribly structured, but I’ve been there in the place where you’ve been frustrated, and know this will help. Let me know……
Dana
Sorry Friend. It reminds me how important it is to continue to pray for the home schooling families out there.
Lots of great words from people. I don’t think I can add much more on at this time. The only piece of advice that I can give is to remember to breathe. Just stop and breathe.